The Nina Simone guide to parenting – a guide for first-time mothers
1. If in doubt, lick its bottom
2. When leaping from the bed to shout at a passing horse, try not to tread on more than two of the puppies
3. If the horse is imaginary, try not to tread on more than one
4. When all else fails, lick its bottom
5. If it won’t stop suckling to have its bottom licked, stand it on its head and do it anyway
6. Try not to look at the puppies with too much disdain as you pass the nest, or your mum might not let you out in the garden as much
7. Remember, this is the one time you’ll be allowed to eat as much as you want – cultivate a constant hungry look and head for the kitchen every time your mum goes in there
8. If the puppies cry, ignore them; they’ll fall asleep eventually
9. If they’re suckling and you want to get out of the bed, get out anyway; they’ll drop off at some point
10. If in doubt, lick its bottom
Friday, 7 January 2011
Saturday, 1 January 2011
Happy New Year
Happy New Year. What will 2011 hold for Grafmax dobermanns?
My main wish for Max is that he stays happy and healthy. My resolution is to make sure he gets 2 walks every day to keep him fit.
My wish for Nina is that she stays well and continues to do well at shows. I've just started taking her again and she's had a Best of Breed, a 1st and two 2nds in her first four shows. My resolutions for her are to continue working on her nervousness of unknown small dogs if they come bounding up to her (she's much better, but more to do) and to join an agility club with her.
My wish for Satchmo is that he stops chewing everything! Are you listening, young man? My resolutions for him are to get him through KC Gold and SWDTBC Intermediate. And to improve my handling, especially to handle him well at Crufts.
My main wish for Max is that he stays happy and healthy. My resolution is to make sure he gets 2 walks every day to keep him fit.
My wish for Nina is that she stays well and continues to do well at shows. I've just started taking her again and she's had a Best of Breed, a 1st and two 2nds in her first four shows. My resolutions for her are to continue working on her nervousness of unknown small dogs if they come bounding up to her (she's much better, but more to do) and to join an agility club with her.
My wish for Satchmo is that he stops chewing everything! Are you listening, young man? My resolutions for him are to get him through KC Gold and SWDTBC Intermediate. And to improve my handling, especially to handle him well at Crufts.
On the fourth day of Christmas ... I strangled Satchmo
On the fourth day of Christmas my Satchmo chewed for me...
Four doggie collars
Four leather shoes
Three organisers
Two of Nina's moo-moos
And a really nice honeysuckle tree
The dog collars were all on Max's neck at the time.
The leather shoes were all real favourites except one.
The latest organiser had been bought only two months ago
And the honeysuckle had been cultivated for years to the point where it climbed right over the wall. It's now a two-inch stump.
Sigh.
Four doggie collars
Four leather shoes
Three organisers
Two of Nina's moo-moos
And a really nice honeysuckle tree
The dog collars were all on Max's neck at the time.
The leather shoes were all real favourites except one.
The latest organiser had been bought only two months ago
And the honeysuckle had been cultivated for years to the point where it climbed right over the wall. It's now a two-inch stump.
Sigh.
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